Weblog
I really, really wish I could talk about dating — or rather, the long feared and ever-mysterious void of my life — but after reviewing my past performance in the dating arena, I’ve discovered that I have no sound advice to offer with regard to matters of holding hands, or being cool, or being sexy, or saying the right things, or kissing under the moonlight…
Or being sexy.
Did I ever tell you about the date that I fucked up? Actually, it wasn’t really a date so much as it was a movie outing, but I liked this girl so much that I treated it like Date Numero Uno. That, my friends, was probably the first step towards failure, as I’ve come to believe that the first date always sucks. (Let me remind you that I am Alex Chao and am therefore without the proper counsel to say such a thing. In fact, it’s absolutely ridiculous.) So to make a short story shorter, Object Of My Admiration #7 and I were on our way to pick up my friend, when I decided to play a game called Red Light Means Go.
That was fun.
Note that I am working on being sexier. For example, I bought new shoes today. They are a cream color, which is exciting because they now remind me of scones. They also have a deep azure trim, which is kind of Martha Stewart-esque, but that’s ok. She puts together some mean bouquets.
And now, my list of things a guy should learn to do if he wants the approval of a few, random people… but not everyone. He must learn to:
- Enjoy eating mushrooms.
- Not play Gamecube all day.
- Bring boba to Baby.
- Tie a tie. (Bowties optional).