simonlife

No doubt about it: when your skin is raw and sensitive and generally painful every minute of the day, everything good in life turns sour and everything bad just sucks a bazillion times more. Getting dressed makes you wish clothes were never invented. Going to sleep (arguably the best part of any other day) makes you afraid of your own bed. Taking a shower, which you normally look forward to, becomes a ritual of self-inflicted pain as you’re forced to assault your burns with things like towels and sponges and the constant abuse of pulsating jets of water.

And then there’s the part where you have to get out of the shower and gaze dejectedly at your naked body in the mirror, all awry with uneven patches of pale, tanned, and flushed skin.

Ew.

Out of precaution, I dragged my charred self down to Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) today for the simple reason that my burns seemed to be slightly more painful than is typical of a conventional sunburn. Two hours and several worried ruminations later, I exited the premises having been diagnosed with “large first-degree and minor second-degree burns.”

I am as worried about this news as anyone can be about anything for which the only solution is time. There are measures of prudence that certainly would help ease the pain, but ultimately, the damage is done, and all I have left to do is wait for my body to do its thing. Still yet, there are other reasons why I think I am so distressed:

• Self-preservation

  This is the obvious product of any physical injury. Fundamentally, the basic human condition requires me to fear for my life and to be principally concerned with my own well-being. Clearly, my injuries are far from fatal, but as a complex, living entity with instinctive notions about the value of my life and evolutionary obligations to react to pain, I will assume enough self-interest to care for myself.

• Reciprocated Grief

  At least for me, few things have ever been more emotionally painful than calling my mother to tell her that I am hurt.

I wish I had worn more sunblock.